A friend recently asked me to write a prayer to be said by someone suffering after the infidelity of a spouse or partner. The victim of infidelity in his own marriage, he was now helping a friend cope with the same trauma. We spoke about his experiences, which were important in writing this prayer. I also gave him a copy of a prayer he could say on behalf of her spiritual healing, called “R’fuat HaNefesh: Healing the Soul,” which will appear in my forthcoming book, Jewish Prayers of Hope and Healing.
After His/Her Infidelity
We were once so close.
I thought that we were in love.
Was our past a lie?
Was I living a dream, a desire, a yearning?
After all we’ve been through together,
Was it false?
How long ago did your heart leave me?
How long ago did your hands and your eyes
Yearn for someone else?
My soul is rent,
Torn apart by the one who promised
To help me find my way,
To help me journey through joy and sorrow,
To help me make myself whole.
You were once the warmth that held me.
You have become the blade that twists inside me.
G-d of compassion,
Grant me the strength to live a life of dignity and honor
In the face of crushing betrayal by my [wife/husband/partner/lover]
And the devastating abandonment by [some of] my friends and community.
Help me to believe that there is light after this darkness.
Bless me with the time and space for healing.
Grant me the willingness to learn to trust others,
And to trust myself,
As I move into a new life.
G-d of mercy,
Be my hope when hope has left me.
Be my strength when my strength has crumbled.
Be my Rock to anchor me through this cruel moment.
Be my courage to preserver and to rebuild,
To choose, once again, a life of awe and wonder.
© 2013 Alden Solovy and www.tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.
Postscript: Here’s a prayer to be said on removing a wedding band.
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