Jewish Prayers From the Heart and Pen of Alden Solovy

Shall I Cry?

empty-heartThere was at least one lesson that I needed to relearn before making aliyah to Israel. After a decade of illnesses, medical emergencies and consequences, deaths, job losses and life transitions, fires, murders and assaults, I set up a wall around my heart. The consequence: not seeing the vastness of joy and love, friendship and care around me. In order to leave on this journey, I needed to stay awhile. I needed to stay in order to remember the gift of you. I’ve selected this prayer for day 36 of Counting the Omer, the Lovingkindness in Bonding, the Chesed of Yesod, because it’s about the dedication to finding deep and lasting love.

Shall I Cry?
Shall I cry at the last withered leaf of fall?
Or the lonely swallow?
Or my grieving heart?

Shall I mourn the past?
Protest the future?
Bury myself in these losses?
The leaving. The death.

Oh you sea of clouds.
Oh you curtain of rain.
Oh you silent yearning.
You arrive as messenger and guide,
Sent from the Source of healing,
The Source of radiance and wonder.

This soul cannot learn to love
In heaven, where only
The vast blue glory
Of light
Resides.

© 2012 Alden Solovy and http://www.tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Postscript: See also: “Unlock Your Heart,” “This Stubborn Heart,” “Every Heart,” “My Heart Knows What it Needs,” “A Heart of Vision” and “A Heart that Hears.”

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Photo Credit: Just Walk Away

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